This audio blog takes a couple of test clips from sitting on the beach at Presqu’ile Provincial Park in Brighton, Ontario, stitching them together with a couple of bits recorded in the dining room a few minutes ago also using the I-Phone’s built in microphone. The background noise of the wind and waves is heavier than I’d like, but I’m surprisingly audible if not as clear as recording in my office with the Snowball. Recording was done around noon on August 13th. It’s rough and raw and unedited (read: the audio quality is not great and you may want to think twice about listening). It also ends suddenly. You’ve been warned.
(See, told you I hadn’t forgotten about the Great Audio Experiment. It’s just a matter of finding time, which is mostly a matter of being more organized, or up when everyone else isn’t.)
Okay, so the sound effects are a little goofy, but they entertain me.
I just wanted to add a bit to the post I wrote way back at the end of May about this year’s crop of summer genre movies.
Battleship and Men in Black 3 both passed by ignored, as promised.
The reality of Prometheus destroyed any hopes I had for the movie. Visually impressive, but far too much of the plot hinged on supposedly very intelligent people doing stupid things or doing things that were just plain ridiculous. I found exactly one character believable and interesting. No, she didn’t survive the film. Seeing the movie with a trio of 13 year-old boys—prime target audience for this one—I found the car ride home entertaining with the frequent use of, “You know another thing that didn’t make sense about that movie…?”
Brave was fun. Pacing was a little odd, but overall it worked pretty well, and it was nice to take my daughters to see something that effectively had a female action hero, even if it was animated.
Missed Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but by all accounts I’ve heard so far, both online and IRL, including from my teenage son, I didn’t miss all that much.
If GI Joe was in theatres, I didn’t notice it. Oh, right. They moved it back a year.
I got dragged to see The Amazing Spider-Man and, while I still think a reboot is ridiculous at this point, the movie was better than I expected. Which isn’t the same thing as saying it was good.
Haven’t seen Batman yet. Not sure I’ll bother before it hits blu-ray. Yes, I understand that puts me very firmly in the minority. I’ll live.
Total Recall opened a couple of nights ago. I love the original Phillip K. Dick short story, “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” and the 1990 Schwarzenegger movie left a bad taste in my mouth. This is a completely independent re-adaptation though, so there might be hope. Still debating.
Which brings us more or less to the present and a couple of movies I somehow missed the first time through the summer listings.
First, my new pick for the season: Robot and Frank. Set sometime in the near future, but a couple of decades out I’d guess, Frank is a retired and ostensibly reformed jewel thief trying to make time with the local librarian. Not a terribly organized guy, and a rotten housekeeper, he receives a robot helper from his adult son. One thing leads to another and they’re suddenly planning a major heist. Apparently a Sundance film, this looks like the first intelligent genre comedy in a long time and I’m really, really looking forward to it.
Iron Sky also looks fun. Nazis hiding out on the dark side of the moon for 70 years now on their way back for another try at world domination. The trailer makes it out to be exciting, ridiculous, and hilarious all at once. It’s been out in Europe for months, and supposedly opened two weeks ago in North America, but it didn’t seem to be play anywhere near me. Too bad.
The Watch, however, is everywhere. Has some potential, but Ben Stiller is very hit and miss for me. Mostly miss. I like the concept and the trailers make it look fun, but I’m going to go with rental on this one.
Solomon Kane I’m going to count as a summer movie. It’s not hitting theatres until late September, but will be available on I-tunes August 24th. An interesting experiment. Kane is a character created by Robert E. Howard, the same man who brought us Conan the Barbarian, and the movie looks violent, bloody, and intense. It also looks like there might be the sliver of a story to back up all the action. Could be fun.
I suppose I might have mentioned Ice Age 4: The Continued Milking, but I gave that a miss, too. My girls saw and enjoyed it, which means I’ll get to see it when it hits video whether I want to or not. Suck it up, Dad. You’ve sat through a lot worse in the name of being a good parent. Prometheus comes to mind.
Be well, everyone.
P.S. Something I did forget to insert into the audio: Sounds courtesy of the Freesound Project, www.freesound.org. (‘kung fu punch’ and ‘kung fu kick’ by nextmaking, Kung Fu Yell by oldedgar) I’ll remember next time.
I’ve decided that it’s show and tell day. What does that mean? Well, from a self-serving promotional standpoint, it means that I’m going to tell you about something I’ve published somewhere and what a great story it is. From a reader’s standpoint, hopefully I’m going to point you at something you’ll like.
For this first edition of show and tell, I’m picking a very recent publication, a fun little story titled “Worm Bait” included in the Dead Bait 3 collection.
With a caption of ‘reaching new depths of terror’, Dead Bait 3 is a 45,000 word Kindle book retailing on Amazon for $2.99 and published on April 30th of this year. I’m sharing the contents page with seven other authors, as follows (and my apologies to anyone whose name I’ve mispronounced in the audio):
Stumped by Cody Goodfellow
Worm Bait by Lance Schonberg (that’s me)
The Demon in the Water by Mark C. Scioneux
The Brotherhood of the Needle by S.T Gulik
Old Man and the Fish by Randal Tanabe
Sinkers by Murphy Edwards
The Fish in the Fields by C. Dennis Moore
The Old Man and the Sea of the Dead by Tim Curran
If experience is a guide, my story is probably the least disturbing of any tale in the collection, but I’m more than okay with that and thrilled just to be included. The truly disturbing and horrific isn’t my forté, anyway. When I write horror, it’s designed to make you shiver a bit and maybe look over your shoulder. “Worm Bait” is a quick and dirty tale of two cryptozoologists on the hunt for the Lagarfljót Worm, a lake monster living in a glacier fed, silt filled lake in Iceland. Legend has it the beast is at least three hundred feet long and spits poison. My kind of cryptid.
If you want to check it out, the Amazon link is attached to the cover shot below.
Sorry, the audio claims it’s yesterday. I recorded last night but didn’t do it early enough to satisfy myself being able to listen to it on enough devices. Still working on the quality, but it’s pretty clear.
Click the play button or right click the link below and choose ‘save as’ to download.